Showing posts with label MVP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MVP. Show all posts

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Urine The News...A-Rod!


Don't look at us like that, Alex Rodriguez. You've been a bad boy. You and your urine wouldn't be in the news if you were as pure and innocent as that pee-drinking grin suggests. Though, we suppose that we sorta got the hint when you started fiddling with Madonna's pentagenarian genitalia while still married to your lovely wife.

Fresh on the heels of the shocking news that current holder of the home run crown, Barry Bonds tested pee-ositive for performance enhancing substances in 2003, it was revealed to CNNSI by four different sources that the Yankee SeƱor at Third's (then with the Rangers) urine wasn't only rich in that post-asparagus smell, but also in testosterone and Anabolic Steroids.

With the aid of the juice, Rodriguez was able to knock 47 dingers into the stands and capture the leagues MVPee while playing for the lowly Rangers in 2003. A-Rod's own juice wasn't the only thing tainted by his use of gym candy. His potential to piss all over Barry Bonds legacy by inevitably breaking the career home run mark once held by the pristinely prodigious Hank Aaron, has been somewhat dashed. If he one day breaks the record, questions about the validity of his stats will linger like those final drops in the pee stream before we shake them into the bowl.

Que sera sera.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Super Bowl MVPee

Picking tonight's MVPee was a really tough choice for us. On one hand we wanted give it to ourselves for going twice and racking up just over one minute in elapsed time streaming into the very super bowl pictured here.

In the end we wound up going with the league and awarding the prestigious MVPee award to Pittsburgh Steelers Wideout Santonio Holmes, who happened to haul in 9 catches for 131 yards, including that dynamite reception in the corner of the end zone to take the urinal cake.

In addition to holding onto the ball at a crucial moment, the word is Santonio "held it in" all game. For that we salute him. Here's to you Santonio and a wonderful season. If we had a trophy it would probably look like a urinal. We doubt it would look very nice next to your other newest addition, so our words will just have to serve as a suitable reward.

Congratulations Pittsburgh Steelers, you are the World Champions!