Pee-lice Blotter: Don't Do The Dew

While the Indian public are gearing up to enjoy their cow piss sodie pop, not everyone in the world is eager to voluntarily imbibe carbonated beverages containing blasts of bladder juice. That, however, did not stop two students at Connecticut's Hartford Union High School from serving up scandalous sipping samples containing natural leakage to two trusting and thirsty pupils at one of the school's recent basketball games.

After carrying out the repugnant practical joke the offending parties sent out an email notifying the student body just who weased the juice. Unfortunately, that email ended up in the inbox of an administrator and the two students were then arrested.

Sadly, that's where the flow of information ends. Tweet Pee is currently unaware if the two offending parties are Chinese or if they told a joke before carrying out the prank. If we find out more, we'll let you know.

Oh, The Places I Go: Chip Shop & Union Hall

Tweet Pee had quite an eventful night as he had the pick of litter of Brooklyn establishments to lay down his leaky law.

The first stop was the Chip Shop where Tweet Pee had the pleasure of partaking of a frosty brew and a deep fried Mars bar before letting loose as a photo of the Queen herself looked on.

With arteries newly clogged and bladder freshly drained, Tweet Pee pressed on to Union Hall where he enjoyed a drink with some wonderful company and eventually had to unleash some fluid on the classy bar's lavatory.

All in all it was an accomplished evening, the kind that people who document their own urinary processes dream about...or at least think about as they're enjoying their night out.

Pee News: India Takes The Piss Out of Cows

Thanks to former Yankee Broadcaster Phil Rizzuto's frequent shouts of "Holy Cow" (and his subsequent invitations to The Money Store) Tweet Pee has long known that the Cow is a sacred animal in India. The nation's Hindu population revere their bovine benefactor so much that slaughtering anything that goes Moo (unless it's one of those string-pulling toys) is illegal, giving them the distinct disadvantage of never having sampled a succulent sirloin. Just because much of the population has never chowed on some ground chuck or bit into a Brisket, doesn't mean that they'll never experience the pleasure of golden showering themselves with the flavor of faith.

As it turns out, not all of the Cow is considered "off-limits". The Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India's biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, has begun to brew up an apparently palatable new beverage made from Cow Urine. Allow Tweet Pee to be the first one to say, "mmm...mmm." Oh, wait a second, we meant, "yech!"

Despite our current misgivings about the release of "gau jal"(Sanskrit), or "cow water"; Om Prakash, the head of the C.P.D.R.S.S. assures the public that the drink will not smell like cow pee and will be quite flavorful. Tweet Pee will believe it when we taste it. In the meantime, Tweet Pee would also like to declare that at present the title of "Worst Job In The World" goes to the taste testers of "gau jal".