Oh, The Places I Go: Coyote Ugly

Tweet Pee has had a busy week hitting the town and attempting to dye it's water supply yellow. You'll have to excuse him for lagging behind on his updates. The first stop on this weeks' Tour De Flow was a bar so popular, they sort of made a movie about it. At least they used the name of the bar as the movie title. That movie and that bar of course are known as Coyote Ugly.

It wasn't long after downing a few Pabst Blue Brews that Tweet Pee found himself sauntering off to the little big boys room. It was just like he had last remembered it. It was dirty, wet, and wreaked of urine. He skipped the urinal on account that it seemed as though there were pools of mixed urine inside and splashback could be lethal if not deadly, instead opting for the somewhat more sanitary bowl.

While Tweet Pee has no idea what sort of germs may have adhered themselves to the bottom of his shoes, he felt much more relieved after having stepped out of the bathroom than having stepped in.

Oh, The Places I Go: Hugs

Tweet Pee enjoys frequenting delightful places. Sometimes said places have delightful names as well. This is the case with Hugs, located on North 6th St. in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. While Tweet Pee certainly would not characterize the toilet area of Hugs as similarly delightful, meaning he would offer it a full body embrace, it wasn't half bad if a little cramped. The toilet basin (if that's what it's called) also had an indecipherable message written inside of it. Actually, it was probably decipherable, Tweet Pee just didn't feel like taking the time by sticking his head in the bowl to get a closer look. This should sound perfectly reasonable to you.

Oh The Places I Go: Tea Lounge

When Tweet Pee woke up this morning, the first thing he did was turn on his computer to get started on work for the day. Actually, the first thing he did was turn off his pleasant alarm ring tone and then he opened up his computer to start work for the day.

Unfortunately, there was something amiss with the Internet connection in Tweet Pee's place of residence. This forced him to take his business elsewhere, that elsewhere was the Tea Loune on Union Street Between 6th and 7th avenue in Park Slope. The music was loud, but not as invasive as it normally is there and there were also fewer unsupervised children, making for a relatively pleasant stay. In the midst of two steaming cups of Jasmine Green Tea, Tweet Pee saw fit to use the facilities within his temporary office.

The room itself was dim, smelly, and cold with a brick facade. Though it was not terribly unclean. Tweet Pee doesn't know who was in their before him but they did a good job stinking up the joint. That being said, he still wound up putting his sunshine stream through their indoor plumbing. The relief Tweet Pee felt allowed him to thoughtlessly work away for the next several hours making for a relatively productive afternoon.

Oh The Places I Go: Bar 1020

Tweet Pee is always on the "go". Well, not always, that could get messy. Last night Tweet Pee went pretty far north to the Morningside Heights section of Manhattan for a date with a lady at Bar 1020. The establishment was thick with intellectual Columbia University types speaking regurgitating the day's lectures casually over beer, but Tweet Pee only had two things on his mind...the member of the fairer sex in front of him and the john. While the jury's still out on whether the date when swimmingly, there was no doubt that the trip to the bathroom was a success.
Upon entering the restroom Tweet Pee had 2 choices (3 if you count the sink) of urine receptacle. One was a urinal which would have caused his junk to be in plain view seeing as there was no working lock on the door and a toilet at which he could clearly shield himself from anyone playing pool outside who might be hankering for a peak. Seeing as Tweet Pee is a tad self conscious, he went with the latter choice.

When all was said and done Tweet Pee had drank a few beers, tinkled twice and went his separate ways with the friendly lady. Prior to hopping in the subway he had a huge slice of pizza that seemed to be double the size of his face, but only went for $3.25. What a bargain.

Oh The Places I Go: Streaming Weekend Recap

Tweet Pee went all over the place this weekend, but he managed to keep his flow under control. Three new sites were added to Tweet Pee's ever growing field guide to the places he streams. Two of the bathrooms in question were in private residences.

On Friday night Tweet Pee ventured out to an apartment party in Nolita or wherever Elizabeth Street north of Grand is considered to be. It's a netherworld between Little Italy and China town. The apartment had two sparkling restrooms but since there were people doing various drugs in another of the restrooms Tweet Pee stuck to the one unencumbered by flared nostrils.

The following evening Tweet Pee returned to his old stomping grounds at the Parkside lounge but waited until he hit the Mercury Lounge where he took in a rock show, before painting the town yellow not once, but twice. Afterwords it was right back to Parkside where Tweet Pee didn't bother to photographic evidence of the toilet since it had previously been procured.


The weekend didn't end there as the next day Tweet Pee went to his familial home in the suburbs for a lovely meal with Momma Tweet Pee. Before returning to the big city though, Tweet Pee made sure to visit the restroom of his youth. The only difference was that the wallpaper and toilet he had a brief love affair with tinkling all over as a child had been replaced by tiling and a decidedly newer model of commode, further proof that things change. Oh well. Stay tuned for more places I go and exclusive urinary news from Tweet Pee.

Oh, The Places I Go: Sthree for Saturday

Tweet Pee is pretty sure that based on all of the places he has been up to this point, you'd more or less be able to triangulate his position in the New York City area. In attempts to throw you off the scent, Tweet Pee decided to diversify his target destinations this fine evening. Originally, he had the full intention of declaring that indeed "Ich ein ein stockbesoffen" but instead of ending up at a German beer bar on the lower east side, he ended up at three regular bars spread out both downtown and in Brooklyn.

Tweet Pee's first alcoholic outing occurred at the Spring Lounge at 48 Spring St and Mulberry. Tweet Pee was immediately alarmed as he closed the door on this water closet, as he realized that there was no lock on the door. One person walked in on him, but the angle was not good enough for a show to take place, so the incident was followed by calm.

Following the shared incident Tweet Pee made his way to the West Village for a little bit of dinner action. Along with a solid few seconds of stream, Tweet Pee enjoyed several slices of Za at John's Pizzeria to fill his fat belly.

The evening was no bust though as Tweet Pee kept the party rollin'. His final place of pee-tronage was back in his home borough of Brooklyn. Tweet Pee found stream satisfaction at Commonwealth in Park Slope...as he thought o himself, what a wonderful world.

Oh, The Places I Go: Chip Shop & Union Hall

Tweet Pee had quite an eventful night as he had the pick of litter of Brooklyn establishments to lay down his leaky law.

The first stop was the Chip Shop where Tweet Pee had the pleasure of partaking of a frosty brew and a deep fried Mars bar before letting loose as a photo of the Queen herself looked on.

With arteries newly clogged and bladder freshly drained, Tweet Pee pressed on to Union Hall where he enjoyed a drink with some wonderful company and eventually had to unleash some fluid on the classy bar's lavatory.

All in all it was an accomplished evening, the kind that people who document their own urinary processes dream about...or at least think about as they're enjoying their night out.

Oh, The Places I Go: Brooklyn Social

Tonight Tweet Pee wandered into the dimly lit confines of Brooklyn Social in Carroll Gardens for a few drinks, which ultimately led to him taking a few sprinks.

While Tweet Pee was able to keep a steady flow his hand was a little shaky when holding the camera. The result is a couple of semi-blurry photos of the most recent streaming site which did not allow for smoking in the boys room.

Oh, The Places I Go: Holiday Cocktail Lounge

Tonight Tweet Pee wandered into the Holiday Cocktail Lounge for a few brews. Unfortunately the Men's room was out of order, so the Ladies area was the only option on the docket.
While I was a little hesitant to be seen wandering into an area designated for the opposite sex, everything worked out just fine. The ladies room was not only perfectly adaptable to the needs of the unfairer sex, but it was also much cleaner than most mens rooms in bars of this caliber, which is to say total dives. Even though it was mostly men lined up to partake in the provided facilities, it seems as though the cleanliness intimidated most of the male clientele into treating the lavatory as though it were an institution of the holy...proving once again that cleanliness is next to godliness.