Parks and Rec-Pee-ation

It seems only natural that one would long to release some of their god-given golden fluids into the prized bosom of one of our nation's most cherished parks and nature reserves. After all, what is mother nature if not the "old"-est and most "faithful" urinal of them all? Unfortunately the, in Tweet Pee's opinion, entirely too civilized folks at Yellowstone Park disagree. They have no problem with bears moving their bowels in the woods, but when two concession employees decided to unleash their natural geyser of sorts into the wonder that is Old Faithful, the park's management threw a pissy fit.

The decision to not use the proper pee receptacle ultimately got the two violators shit-canned seeing as they were caught on a webcam. One of the violators, a 23-year old man, also got slapped with a hefty $750 fine (in this economy?) in addition to being placed on three years of unsupervised probation for urinating, being off trail in a restricted area and taking items from the area. Talk about getting a tough break for doing what comes naturally. If Tweet Pee had the money, he'd pay your fine Mr. Friend to Mother Nature. We support your decision to not waste water and we also frown on Yellowstone's waste of excess energy by employing said webcam.

March Poll: Songs in The Key of Pee

Tweet Pee has been slacking for a couple of days, but it's been a well deserved layoff as he's been bringing you loyal readers the latest in Urination for some time now and sometimes he just needs to hold it in. Now it's back to the task at hand. As promised, although a couple days late, here is the next poll question that will be living in the upper left hand corner of the site for the duration of the month. So without any further ado.

What is your favorite song about Urination?

"The Safety Dance"- Men Without Hats



"Yellow"- Coldplay

"Piss On The Wall"- The J. Geils Band


"Don't Eat The Yellow Snow" - Frank Zappa



"Right Here Waiting"- Richard Marx

Tweet Pee's Tune For Tuesday: J. Geils Band "Piss On The Wall"

Tweet Pee listened to a lot of music growing up. Even though many a song blessed these ears with memorable lyrics and a catchy hook, there was but one in particular that influenced my love of implementing the golden flow on an area where it was not intended. That track was not Garbage's "Only Happy When It Rains" nor was it Coldplay's "Yellow". Those songs, while being absolutely lovely in their own right, came along too late in my musical education to be of any substantial impact in where I lay my stream to rest.
My parents had I believe ordered the J. Geils Band album, Freeze Frame from the Columbia House catalog sometime around 1981. While I absolutely adored songs one and three ("Freeze-Frame" and "Centerfold", respectively), it was the very last track that gave me my marching orders. On several occasions, with Peter Wolf's voice in my head commanding me, I unleashed my baby-snake and/or button and did his bidding as the words "Piss On The Wall," echoed through my synapses causing me to unleash a flood of urine onto the right hand wall of our family's ornate, flowery-wallpapered bathroom.

While I'd like to say I don't hear Mr. Wolf's voice ordering me around anymore, sometimes I have to go so bad with no bathroom in sight that the wall is the nearest refuge. So in honor of my undying affection for the J. Geils Band. Here's a bit of a blast from the Tweet Pee past: