Oh, The Places I Go: Merc Bar

Tweet Pee is all class, so much so that every once in awhile he'll find himself in a classy establishment such as Merc Bar in the Soho region of Manhattan York City. It was quite the occasion when he finally strolled into the restroom at this classy joint. Tweet Pee was slightly shocked to find that such upscale institution of higher partying did not employ a washroom attendant, but hey, times are tough and supposed cutbacks make it slightly less awkward for Tweet Pee to take photos of his place of business. With less company on hand Tweet Pee gladly took a much needed whizz or two all over the urinal of his choice, which just so happened to be the only urinal in the joint. Despite the slim pickins, Tweet Pee experienced no difficulty in dispensing his number 1 favorite bodily fluid at the proper site for doing so in this environment aimed at the affluend, where the cheapest beer option cost a reasonable (cough) $8.

Oh The Places I Go: Bar 1020

Tweet Pee is always on the "go". Well, not always, that could get messy. Last night Tweet Pee went pretty far north to the Morningside Heights section of Manhattan for a date with a lady at Bar 1020. The establishment was thick with intellectual Columbia University types speaking regurgitating the day's lectures casually over beer, but Tweet Pee only had two things on his mind...the member of the fairer sex in front of him and the john. While the jury's still out on whether the date when swimmingly, there was no doubt that the trip to the bathroom was a success.
Upon entering the restroom Tweet Pee had 2 choices (3 if you count the sink) of urine receptacle. One was a urinal which would have caused his junk to be in plain view seeing as there was no working lock on the door and a toilet at which he could clearly shield himself from anyone playing pool outside who might be hankering for a peak. Seeing as Tweet Pee is a tad self conscious, he went with the latter choice.

When all was said and done Tweet Pee had drank a few beers, tinkled twice and went his separate ways with the friendly lady. Prior to hopping in the subway he had a huge slice of pizza that seemed to be double the size of his face, but only went for $3.25. What a bargain.

Oh The Places I Go: Streaming Weekend Recap

Tweet Pee went all over the place this weekend, but he managed to keep his flow under control. Three new sites were added to Tweet Pee's ever growing field guide to the places he streams. Two of the bathrooms in question were in private residences.

On Friday night Tweet Pee ventured out to an apartment party in Nolita or wherever Elizabeth Street north of Grand is considered to be. It's a netherworld between Little Italy and China town. The apartment had two sparkling restrooms but since there were people doing various drugs in another of the restrooms Tweet Pee stuck to the one unencumbered by flared nostrils.

The following evening Tweet Pee returned to his old stomping grounds at the Parkside lounge but waited until he hit the Mercury Lounge where he took in a rock show, before painting the town yellow not once, but twice. Afterwords it was right back to Parkside where Tweet Pee didn't bother to photographic evidence of the toilet since it had previously been procured.


The weekend didn't end there as the next day Tweet Pee went to his familial home in the suburbs for a lovely meal with Momma Tweet Pee. Before returning to the big city though, Tweet Pee made sure to visit the restroom of his youth. The only difference was that the wallpaper and toilet he had a brief love affair with tinkling all over as a child had been replaced by tiling and a decidedly newer model of commode, further proof that things change. Oh well. Stay tuned for more places I go and exclusive urinary news from Tweet Pee.

Oh The Places I Go: Tweet Pee's Lower East Side Adventure

Last night, Tweet Pee hit up the town for some serious misadventures in hitting the sauce. Luckily there was no babysitting involved. That would've been a lost cause. The first stop on Tweet Pee's Tour De Flow was Rosario's Pizza on Orchard and Stanton, where both a plain slice and a Margherita slice were scarfed down along with a small bottle of water to make Tweet Pee feel like a river and let the water overflow. Curiously, the bathroom at Rosario's had a poster of San Sebastian, Spain. While Rosario's makes some fine Italian cuisine, they don't necessarily do their part in contributing to their home country's tourism industry as Tweet Pee had the urge to stream live content from Spain afterwards.

Next up on the pee program was a move to The Annex, where Tweet Pee enjoyed some fine music courtesy the artists performing at the Poptank Records showcase. In between some excellent performances Tweet Pee made a p-line for the Men's room where he showed he was indeed a "whiz kid" and despite not having stickers like the members of Maniacal Plan who had gone before him, could urinate with the best of them.

The night wore on and Tweet Pee in friends thought to end he evening in quieter, more relaxed confines. The final destination for revelry and the emptying of wasteful fluids was none other than the Parkside Lounge on Attorney and Houston. The toilet seat at that establishment had a little too much tinkle juice on it for Tweet Pee's taste but luckily he never had to take the seated position. Instead he got to stare at more stickers advertising the awesomeness of Midnight Fistfight, Buteo, and Vivid Alt, prompting Tweet Pee to either want to look them all up later or take aim at their names.

Having to go at least three times while in the establishment, Tweet Pee also opted to try the ladies room, which he found completely lacking in advertisements. Apparently those interested in vandalism in the name of commerce believe men to be a perfect target audience. Or maybe they just hold their "going" space to be more sacred. Tweet Pee certainly understands that. Alas, the Sunday evening urinary adventure had to end sometime and thus Tweet Pee returned home to enjoy a snack and a tinkle before heading off to dreamland, fully satisfied with all the places he went.

Oh, The Places I Go: Sthree for Saturday

Tweet Pee is pretty sure that based on all of the places he has been up to this point, you'd more or less be able to triangulate his position in the New York City area. In attempts to throw you off the scent, Tweet Pee decided to diversify his target destinations this fine evening. Originally, he had the full intention of declaring that indeed "Ich ein ein stockbesoffen" but instead of ending up at a German beer bar on the lower east side, he ended up at three regular bars spread out both downtown and in Brooklyn.

Tweet Pee's first alcoholic outing occurred at the Spring Lounge at 48 Spring St and Mulberry. Tweet Pee was immediately alarmed as he closed the door on this water closet, as he realized that there was no lock on the door. One person walked in on him, but the angle was not good enough for a show to take place, so the incident was followed by calm.

Following the shared incident Tweet Pee made his way to the West Village for a little bit of dinner action. Along with a solid few seconds of stream, Tweet Pee enjoyed several slices of Za at John's Pizzeria to fill his fat belly.

The evening was no bust though as Tweet Pee kept the party rollin'. His final place of pee-tronage was back in his home borough of Brooklyn. Tweet Pee found stream satisfaction at Commonwealth in Park Slope...as he thought o himself, what a wonderful world.

Oh, The Places I Go: Holiday Cocktail Lounge

Tonight Tweet Pee wandered into the Holiday Cocktail Lounge for a few brews. Unfortunately the Men's room was out of order, so the Ladies area was the only option on the docket.
While I was a little hesitant to be seen wandering into an area designated for the opposite sex, everything worked out just fine. The ladies room was not only perfectly adaptable to the needs of the unfairer sex, but it was also much cleaner than most mens rooms in bars of this caliber, which is to say total dives. Even though it was mostly men lined up to partake in the provided facilities, it seems as though the cleanliness intimidated most of the male clientele into treating the lavatory as though it were an institution of the holy...proving once again that cleanliness is next to godliness.

Oh, The Places I Go: Bar On A

Last night I, Tweet Pee, enjoyed happy hour drinks at the creatively named Bar On A in the East Village of Manhattan. While I was certainly happy to imbibe drinks at this wonderful establishment, what made me even gladder was the chance to expel the resultant fluids in this relatively clean and cozy bathroom-type area.

Oh, The Places I Go: Santos Party House

Yesterday I let my flow go four times in two different places. Three of those incidents took place in my own toilet, but in the evening I had the pleasure of peeing at Santos Party House, the hot Manhattan club owned by Rock superstar Andrew W.K.. I was there to take in a rock show by the burgeoning Brooklynites in Mahogany. The show kicked ass and so did the urinals.

This is what the facilities looked like.