That's not to say he doesn't get kick out of the occasional odd urinal. Lord knows he's seen a few in his day, but none that he'd say were capable of making a controversial splash, lest you were referring to an unpleasant ricochet off a urinal containing god knows how many other people's urine.
However, some patrons of Hamilton, Ontario's The Honest Lawyer eatery aren't as open-minded as ol' Tweet Pee. Seems they've got the holes in their boxer-briefs all buttoned up over a few silly tinkle receptacles shaped like those Twizzler lips from way back when.
Now, nobody seemed so pissed off when those things were biting up phallic licorice sticks in the 80's, but relieve yourself in one and all of the sudden we've got a full-fledged hullabaloo on our hopefully dry hands.
The stream catchers inspired an anti-lip loo campaign that gained stream when 1,100 fans of boring ol' urinals, including the city's mayor and Ontario's NDP (whatever that means), used the archaic method of letter-writing to let their uptight verbal diarrhea spew forth from their fountain pens, arguing that people peeing in these urinals was offensive to women.
Tweet Pee would like to say, "stop thinking so hard!" Not only was this assumption that every man just going to take a pee was intentionally defiling women an ignorant exercise in trying to see the worst; it's predicated on the supposition that most men actually care where his bladder may blast.
Beyond a laugh and a smirk at the creative use of urinal space, whether you give a man a trough, a mouth or plain ol' porcelain; he'll only see one thing– a bulls-eye.
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